My celebration of the Bajram in a village in western Macedonia, where I went with my friend to visit one family, turned into a two-days marathon during which we have visited several homes and ate dose of sugar that cross every standard limit:)

Anyone who has experienced the Balkans hospitality knows that it is not overrated, especially in smaller cities and villages, where the life is slower and the time spent with family has very high value.  Quite often I heard from the Macedonians Orthodox the opinion, that if you are once accepted by Macedonian or Albanian Muslim community, they will take you with the whole heart, just as best as they can.

On Sunday afternoon we arrived to Debar, from where my friends picked us up straight to go to visit their relatives who live nearby. In a typical house there is the main entrance that leads you almost straight to the living room, a fairly large space with the  horseshoe-shaped couches and a set of the three tables in various size.  Very often there is the connection between the room and the kitchen or there is a cupboard with the stove standing somewhere in the corner that allowes to serve coffe without leaving the room. As a guest, after greetings and leaving your shoes on the threshold, you are asked to seat on the couch, which automatically becomes  a real royal seat. Traditionally, the housewife or the bride (mac: nevesta – daughter in law) firstly treats you with candies or lokum (turkish delight), offering it straight to each person from the tray or bowl. Despite you are not obliged to eat the sweets instantly, you cannot refuse to take it; you can hide it in your pocket or bag. After that comes coffee and juice, or just juice, which is always given with the wishes of “health”. For candy-wrappers and empty cups is no place on the table – they are immediately taken by te bride or a housewife. But the most traditional sweet for the Bajram is baklava and “shekjerpare” – sweet prepared from sugar, butter and flour.

In the time of Bajram it is necessary to visit as much people as you can, from the list of your friends and relatives. Visits don`t need to last long and they don`t alwas go with baklava – normally it is enough to spend just a five minutes sitting on the couch and take one symbolic candy. Longer visits are reserved for really close friends and family, but I can not imagine that they can last more than an hour, if kkep on mind the number of relatives and neighbours. Perhaps because of  the impressive size of Macedonian extended families, here celebration of the Bayram lasts three days (in France, for example, is only one day).

Traditional greetings and wishes for the Bayram heard dozens of times during just a few hours stayin mind like a mantra. “Shto pravish, arna? – Arna. – Tvoite arni? – Arni (” what are you doing (how are you), good? – Good. – And yours (family) good? – Good”). On the first day of the Bayram we have visited more than ten houses, in some of them staying longer and eating bakava/shekjerpare, in others spending just a few  minutes, during which, however, we were alwas treated with the candy and asked where we are from, what we do, what our parents do … etc. At the end of the day the only sound that stayed in my brain was multi-voiced” arna, arna”, circulating in my body with an over impressive amount of sugar. “When you eat sugar and sweets you will be sweet with people” – explained me my friend.

The hospitality and local cuisine are far from the sophisticated, refined and “elegant” West, which is more like tied with its rules of behaviour where it is not good seen to eat much and to really enjoy the food, to relax and “just live”. Here is totally opposite: “Eat, eat, you almost don`t eat, you’re not sick?” – they say, and it is almost impossible to refuse anything, even if you eat eight portions of baklava or if five meals for the one dinner is something that sounds for you impossible to manage. It is taken into consideration that guests may feel ashamed and embarrassed, so there is a strategy to give him/her everything what she/he wants (even if doesen`t know what wants), straight to the plate or almost to his/her mouth, following the rule that “better too much than too less”. After two days of celebrating the Bayram we were dreaming about having the snake body.

Despite of this specific food-pressure;) in each house we were treated  in the way that we could feel even better than at home. This is the ideal ‘village hospitality, good-natured and generous, that requires you just to seat comfortable on the couch, using your space, time and a set of pillows. But while you can even lie down, you cannot leave the couch:) There is no need for taking a walk, going out from the house – unless the hosts takes you for the small tour to visit the house or leads you to the toilet;) There is no explanation for individualism in the celebration of the community.

Two from the three Bayram days are public holidays, guaranteed by the Constitution as a respect for the rights of the minorities. The last, third day of the Bayram I spent half-working, half-relaxing, sending the last wishes with imaginary, virtual baklava and sugar.